Nope.

From Our Readers

Bahadar Strikes Back

Hello dear,

I am the owner of the Tourist Inn Motel located in Peshawar, Pakistan. Some of the things that you have described at your website are incorrect.

About Tourist Inn Motel. It has three double rooms and three dorm rooms. “Double room” means two persons can stay along in a single room.

Also about the theft that took place. So, listen… The Japanese person who lost his $2000 had another Japanese friend who was staying in another place. He used to visit him. He lost his money and blamed us. So how can he blame us? If he had told us that I have that much money in my luggage and kindly look after that, then we would have made it safe.

Also we don't know who has what type of things in the luggage as we don't check it. So if a visitor or a friend of his comes and anything happens then we are not responsible for that. Also we don't let anybody inside unless a tourist staying here says that he is my friend and let him meet me inside, then we respect that and let him inside.

Also we have written notices explaining that in case of any outsider if anything happened then the tourist will be responsible for that.

Now say, how can that Japanese man blame us?

In August 2004 we had two Japanese persons. There came another Japanese, definitely a friend of the two Japanese, and this Japanese was staying somewhere else. He was sitting with them inside the dorm. We had an American person staying in the same dorm. The two Japanese went out for buying something from the bakery, and their friend started checking the luggage of the American man. He was in the shower. In the meantime he came out and he went towards the dorm. He saw that Japanese man checking this luggage. He screwed him up and abused him much. At that time there were three more persons. And all of them knew before about the theft of Japanese money. They came to know that in that way the theft occurs.

Now tell, are we responsible for that? Of course not.

So kindly correct the information at your website and also include whatever I said here.

Thanks,

Owner of Tourist Inn Motel, Mr. Khan

Dear Mr. Khan,

Please be assured that I have the warmest memories of your hotel, of you personally, and especially of the semi-automatic you kindly let me toy with. I still disagree with you on whether it is appropriate to point supposedly not loaded firearms at people's bellies, but it is one difference we can no doubts let go.

Now, you raise two issues in your letter.

As for the number of private rooms, there was only one at the time of my stay with you. If you now have three, it is nice to know that.

As for the evil Japanese man, I have merely reported his claim and your counterclaim. I even sided with you by agreeing that he was a moron no matter who had taken his money. If you have an impression I accuse you of something, then it is not so, and please accept my apologies for being unclear in this regard.

I hope we can settle the matter by posting your letter here as you request, so that the readers can finally learn what has really happened there and which particular group of people is behind everything.

I have to resist the urge to comment further on your unlucky streak with the Japanese, as I would then get complaints from them. We all root for you in this fight, though. Justice shall prevail.

Best wishes.

Verbatim

DEAR SIR,

I AM LEATHER TECHNOLOGIST HAVING INTREST TO DO SOME BUSSINESS IN LEATHER FROM AFGANISTAN. PLEASE COAPRATE ME TO SEND COMPLETE INFORMATION ABOUT THE tANNERY ASP. I THANKS ALOT FOR THIS.

THANKS ANWER

Dear Anwer,

We are a punk website, we don't deal in leather.

Best wishes,
Sergei Zharov

I am thank full and pleased to receive your mail. but if you like then, please send me email of some tannery complete address after dis cussion from your friends. Are you in Kabul? or otheer parts.

Thanks
anwer

I am actually in Russia, but we work on the second invasion of Afghanistan. If there are any tanneries left when we are done, I'll let you know. After we have taken over, every remaining tannery in the country will have an e-mail address, and that will be very good for your business.

Sergei

Dear Mr Sergei zharove,

I AM ASENIOR LEATHER TECHNOLOGIST FROM INDIA. HERE I HAVE SETELED WITH LEATHER CHEMICALS BUSINESS WITH MY FRIEND AND OWN BROTHER. ACTUALY I DO THE JOB IN THE tANNERY FOR THE PRODUCTION OF LEATHER OR LEATHER CHEMICLAS SALES JOB IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD. MY CV IS HERE," WILL YOU LIKE TO FORWARD MY CV TO THEM.'. I AM READY TO DO THE JOB IN ANY PARTOF THE WORLD.

MY COMPLETE CV IS HERE ATTACHED

ABOUTME

1, Name syed Anwer Karim

[skipped]

Yours faithfully
( Syed Anwer karim )
Thanking you in anticipation

MY EXPECTATION AFTER YOUR RESPONSE.

EXPECTED 600$PM

Dear Anwer,

I'll pass your resume to them in case they need a senior overlord at the overtaken tanneries. Don't call them as they are busy preparing the invasion fleet, they will call you when it's all over — once again, only if there are any tanneries left, and I pray they will not use that dude Dudaev's tactics anymore. As we are already on the subject, do you have any experience in carpet strikes?

Best wishes,
Sergei Zharov

I am thank full o you to take intrest with me. I will follow your advise. You have asked with me about "' do you have any experience in carpet strikes? Yes I know it from Leather carpet. These days Mrxico export a lot leather carpet. This I know from my afgan friend. I worked in Kabul in the year 1980. But please tell me your adia.

Thanks
wait
Anwer

Well, we basically planned to carpet every tannery and any other legitimate target in Afghanistan (and you can imagine how blurred the definition of “legitimate” becomes after 500 ml of Stoly) just as we did it in 1979–1989, but I really hope there will be no need for that — I mean, did we teach senior leather technologists and the like any lesson back then or no? Do they want their tanneries tanning or smoking? The simple adia is, you see, that New York City is not the only place in the world where bulls win, bears win, and pigs get slaughtered — that's something for the guys in Kabul to remember. Were I to open a carpet business in Afghanistan, I'd mass-produce qilims with slogans like “pigs never win” for every single Afghan house to display.

Anyway, Anwer, after a full day of nice conversations with you the better side of me takes over. I must say that our invasion is imminent, and The Supreme Leader ordered to maintain strict radio silence on all bands, and that includes e-mail. Good luck to you in your endeavors.

Over and out,
Lt.-Col. Sergei Zharov
Space Command and Control
Earth

Dear Mr Sergei zharov

last night i seen serbia in bbc london news. There is flood. Realy you are great and have great knowledge as I beleive. If you want any things in Leather or to start aTannery," I give you 99% confidence for the best result. before this we are good friend. If you want any information from india ," please do not hesitate to write me.

Thanks
anwer

Fucking Quality Tourism

I have a friend in Russia, and he wants to come to Kabul for a week from Moscow to do a little bit of tourism. Unfortunately, he does not speak English (or any other language except Russian), and, most unfortunately, being Russian, he can not pay crazy money you charge all those American guys.

He basically needs the following:

— meet him in Kabul airport and check him into a cheap hotel ($20/night max);

— provide him with a car and a driver to go on day trips to: Charikar and Salang Pass, Massoud's tomb, Bagram airbase (yes, he knows the Americans are there), Panjshir up to some Rukh village (whatever that place is; he knows where it is);

— get him from the hotel to the airport when he flies back.

To reiterate: he needs a Russian speaking person to take him from the airport to the hotel and back, and he needs a driver (not a translator or a guide) to take him on one or two day trips to Kabul environs. He does not need luxury, constant escort, etc. — just minimal help from someone who speaks Russian. Can you help him somehow? What would be your price for the services listed above?

Best wishes,
Sergei Zharov

Hi. This is the qmail-send program at zharov.com. I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addresses. This is a permanent error; I've given up. Sorry it didn't work out.

<abdul@afghantravelcenter.co.uk>:
Sorry, I couldn't find any host named afghantravelcenter.co.uk. (#5.1.2)

<info@travelafghanistan.co.uk>:
80.168.70.63 does not like recipient. Remote host said: 550-info@travelafghanistan.co.uk is not an active address at this host (Account 550 disabled due to inactivity) Giving up on 80.168.70.63.

<haider@kabullodge.com>:
Sorry, I wasn't able to establish an SMTP connection. (#4.4.1) I'm not going to try again; this message has been in the queue too long.

I have a friend in Russia

[skipped]

Best wishes,
Sergei Zharov

Hi. This is the qmail-send program at zharov.com. I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addresses. This is a permanent error; I've given up. Sorry it didn't work out.

<abdul@afghantravelcentre.co.uk>:
Sorry, I couldn't find any host named afghantravelcentre.co.uk. (#5.1.2)

I have a friend in Russia

[skipped]

Best wishes,
Sergei Zharov

Wish you are doing well, first of all I want to confirm one thing, which is our company is a professional, government licensed tour operator, we have only one standard rates, which we charge all our clients regardless he/she is American or Russian and so on, we never look at our customers packet size.

Afghanistan became an expensive country after the collapse of the Taliban, you can not find Hotel cheaper then USD 50 per night, this is the lower rates which I told you, it goes up to USD 450 per night, we have got our own guest house we can give him a room there, all rooms have comfortable double size bed, working desk, and 24 hours free internet.

About the Russian translator I will find for him one, and he will charge him, USD 50 per day.

Room in our own guest house, USD 50 per night

Translator Russian speaking USD 50 per day

Toyota Corolla inside of Kabul USD 40 per day

Toyota Surf 4WD for travel out side of Kabul USD 120 per day

food 24 hours USD 30 per day

government paperwork and tax USD 100 in total

This is the lowest price which I quote you, but if he be our normal client we will chare him USD 314 per day including all expenses.

I am happy to receive your reply, and at this point I wonder if we can find common ground.

The price of Toyota Corolla being 40 dollars per day is quite acceptable — that's a start. He does need the vehicle outside of Kabul at this price, though, and most cars on the route to Mazar-i-Sharif being Toyota Corollas, he does not think he needs a Jeep there.

As for a hotel, my friend has in mind something simple like Spingar or Jamil — we know they charge 20 dollars per day, and, unlike your fine establishment, these two hotels charge different prices depending on nationality, so this is already a foreigner's price. As I have said, he does not need luxury, but I don't want him to sleep on the floor in a chaikhana for three dollars, so Spingar will be fine.

As for food, pilau or kebab dinner being 1 dollar per set in many places in Kabul, my friend plans to arrange his food himself.

As for a translator, my friend would be glad to pay a one time charge of 50 dollars all in all for the simple task of meeting him in the airport and taking him to the airport, and explaining once to the driver the route he wants to take.

As for the government paperwork and tax — it's probably very clear by now what my friend thinks about that.

Basically, this is a good opportunity for a hard-working driver to get 40 dollars per day for not much riding, and for a good, honest Muslim who does not have any qualifications but speaks basic Russian to earn 50 dollars for not much work (going to the airport and back two times). If there are any people like this left in Afghanistan, and if you know them — let's put some money in their pockets.

Rest assured, I understand that you cater to a different market. The guy just wants to see the country he has heard so much about.

Wish you are doing well, thanks a lot for sending this e-mail, sorry we can not provide such as service we have got a lot of expense to pay out of this business as you know how much is office rental in this country how much is Inter Net, and how much is the staff, all our cars are owned by our company and our staff is always paid monthly.

The quote which I told you before that is the only rate which I can serve your fiend not cheaper than that.

We provide a quality service and we charge for that, we do not use our Toyota Corolla cars for driving to Panjshir Valley, as the road condition to Panjshir is very body we have to pay the amount of money which we made from this client back to repair the car.

The food OK he can pay him self the Hotel OK, he can find his own accommodation, but I will charge him USD 40 for I Toyota Corolla car inside of Kabul and USD 120 per day for a Toyota Surf 4WD for travel out side of Kabul, and I will charge him USD 100 for government paper works as we can not take the people around without government's permission, if anything wrong happen our company will be fucked up, you can write his Itinerary for me, in English and I will give it to your driver if he can not pay for a travel guide, and our driver will drive him around according to your Itinerary.

OK, thanks, I'll let him know so that he can make his plans.

I think Bin Laden should be searched for not in NWFP but in ATO — this organization makes more harm to Afghanistan than the whole Al Qaida. Maybe you should drop a hint to the Americans, and they will bomb their office. India, Pakistan, China, Central Asia, even Iran — all your neighbors benefit from tourist money, but not you.

[NWFP — Northwestern Frontier Province; ATO — Afghan Tourist Organization]

Wish you are doing well, I am still so friendly and polite with and you have to respect that, I explained for you all the situations and problems which we have got on our way, which makes our business to running, we have got our offices in Pakistan, Iran, Tajikistan, Russia, Singapore, UK and USA, and I am sure that quality tourism is not cheap in none of these countries and try to say thanks a can not effort to use your services instead of using impolite and unnecessary words Afghans are very friendly, but up to a limit, do not try to put your steps out of that, we know everything to make our business running.

A fucking foreign company is operating tours in Afghanistan called [skipped] ask them to quote you for individual traveler, see how much they will quote you I am sure that their lowest rate is USD 300 per day per person.

[I actually stopped baiting the guy at this point as I've realized that we only differed on semantics — what I called “slimeball tour operators” he called “quality tourism”. We never really disagreed on the price — that's exactly what it should be in slimeball/quality business.]

anyway my rate in Kabul on daily basis $150 and outside Kabul is $200. since your friend can't afford this amount, but still I will make myself available for him on daily in Kabul $100 and outside Kabul $150. the cost of transportation in Kabul will be $70 in Kabul and outside Kabul will be $100. this discount is just for you.

[This is the only other tour company that has replied. Basically, it was pretty obvious from the very beginning that they all would rather charge one idiot an enourmous amount of money on occasion than honestly and constantly serve normal customers. But the “friend” — a veteran I have never seen who asked for assistance — just would not believe that and kept hoping honesty would overcome greed. In case you don't know, most people in Afghanistan make under five dollars per day and would be plainly happy to get, say, 15 dollars for showing a foreigner around. You can also rent a taxi for 40 dollars or less per day — I would even suggest buying all the gas you need and giving the driver the very same 15 dollars extra instead of a fixed sum.]

Wide Fan Base

I'll be straightforward. I want to join this Taliban. I'm from Uzbekistan, Tashkent. Is it possible to get any information? Will it be easy? Which city is better to go to in Afghanistan to meet them and avoid their enemy (opposition)? Thanks for any info. I like your website.

Thanks for putting me on the radars of the Turkish, American, and Russian intelligence.

The Taliban is a Pushtun movement and probably does not need an Uzbek now, especially one with your talent to set people up.

In any case, while ISAF is in the country, the talibs cannot engage into any meaningful political struggle. They are not the righteous entity at present; they merely harass soft targets; this does not require or warrant international support.

Have you considered getting education and using it to help your people, your country, your brothers and sisters in faith? Allah will like it more than your daydreaming in an internet cafe in Turkey. Ummah needs a geologist, not another misguided enthusiast with an AK.

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